I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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