just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize