is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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