i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
