Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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