Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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