I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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