A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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