I just made out with a guy for $7.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
