like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
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Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon