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does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
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