I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Michael Bay diarrhea
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
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so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down