It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)