Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip