is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.