Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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