The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
