I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
