So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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