I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
