i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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