4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
