I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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