On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
