Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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