She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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