This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
