my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
