"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize