a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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