Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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