He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
