there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
