"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
