so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
