So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
