She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Randomize
