Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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