I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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