But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
