fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
