After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
did you just send me my own nude
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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