My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
