He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize