You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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