I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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