Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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