Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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