I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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