the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Let's paint friendship bongs
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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