I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
