Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
