Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need water and some morals
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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