yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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