Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
