If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Who died my cat blue again?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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