Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
