once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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