So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
