I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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