Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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