so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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