Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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