Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
