Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize